Monday, January 5, 2009
The key to a loving relationship? Loving Yourself.
I was married for a very long time. 17 years. To a very nice man. He's kind, generous, gentle, and a great father. He was never mean to me, never physically hurt me, and never lied to me. Yet I asked for a divorce. Because I didn't like who I was when I was with him. There was just something about our chemistry, about the way we interacted, that left me unsettled. Restless. I can't quite place my finger on why or exactly what it was, but the bottom line is that I didn't like myself very much.
I'm not ex-husband bashing. He's a perfectly nice guy. He's the father of the most wonderful daughter in the world, and he's 50% of why she's so great. He was just the wrong guy to be my partner in life.
The reason that I'm bringing all of this up is that in discovering what it was that made my first marriage so wrong, I discovered the exact thing that makes my relationship with the best boyfriend in the world so right, and here it is:
I love who I am when I'm with him.
Again, I can't necessarily put my finger on it. Maybe it's just chemistry. Maybe it's our history. Maybe it's improved communication. Maybe it's the desire to try harder. Bottom line is that there is something about the way Eddie and I are together that results in me liking who I am more than I ever have in my entire life. My self-confidence is boosted. My face literally glows. I'm nicer to strangers. I let people go in front of me in line. I smile more. I love myself. And it's not necessarily just because Eddie is always telling me that I'm beautiful and sexy, or that I'm the best girlfriend on the planet. I think it's because I am driven to be a better person when I'm with him, and being a better person makes me feel better about myself.
What a wonderful feeling it is not only to love an amazing man, and to be loved by this man, but also, and most importantly, to love myself.
Posted by Mistress of the Mix at 10:41 PM